What Would Happen If Google Crashed For A Day?
Apocalyptic Stuff ? 😱
Don’t worry, there’s no indication that the world’s most used search engine is about to crash or go offline…
…but, if it did, what would happen? Just how dependent have we become on ONE SEARCH ENGINE and its extended services?
Before we dive into the apocalyptic stuff, let’s examine what happened the last time Google crashed.
In August 2013, Google’s services shut-down for between 2-3 minutes. During this time, there was a 40% drop in worldwide internet traffic!
40%! And that was 5 years ago! Long before mobile browsing usage was at its current levels. Since then, Google has strengthened their position, adding a whole bunch of add-on services, and we’ve become ever more increasingly dependent on the internet.
So, What Would Happen if Google Actually Did Crash?
The Search Engine 🔍
The first thing to take account of is Google’s most popular product, the search engine.
‘Google it’ has become a stand-alone term, just like ‘hoover’, and there’s good reason for it, in June 2018 they owned an enormous 90.31% of the search market, worldwide.
If Google’s search engines were to read ‘502 Bad Gateway Error’, the first thing most of us would do is check our internet connection. Many might even give up altogether and disappear from the web.
Those of us who don’t have a second-choice search engine (I’m guessing that’s most of us!), would instinctively want to make a Google search for ‘other search engines’, only to realise that Google is still down.
The rest of the world would probably find themselves on Bing and then their servers would crash too, under the enormous waves of traffic that Google deal with every day.
The most searched for ‘how to’ question (worldwide), ‘how to tie a tie’ would leave men everywhere half-strangling themselves merely trying to get ready for the office.
Businesses and Marketers 📉
The short-term death of Google would see businesses suffer untold losses.
Much of their website traffic would disappear, especially from new unique visitors, but they probably wouldn’t realise this was happening anyway because their Google Analytics accounts wouldn't be working either.
1st/2nd/3rd Line Support Engineers would be inundated with phone calls and requests from work colleagues trying to initially find out what was wrong with their computers not realising it was the big G that was suffering technical issues!
Without their beloved numbers, digital marketing analysts would fall into a deep state of depression. Many would resort to endlessly punching random keys on their simple casio calculator or weeping into their ‘data is power’ personalised coffee cups.
Sales would plummet to an all-time digital low; perhaps bringing a new more sombre meaning to ‘Black Friday’. The world’s biggest tech companies stock would collapse with such low traffic. But stocks in Chinese companies would soar because Baidu would still be up and running, and their companies don’t rely on one website as much as the western world.
Alphabet (Google’s parent company) would rue a day of lost advertising revenue. In Q1 of 2018, they posted a revenue of $31 Billion, meaning a day without trading would cost them $316,326,530.
Advertisers would suffer too. They’d rush over to Bing to discover how to run ads on their platform, only for the surge in traffic to make it crash (again).
If Google went down, YouTube probably would too. This means when we’re bored waiting for Google to come back online, we couldn’t even watch the hilarious ‘cats chasing light spots’ video that was trending.
All our favourite YouTube ‘celebs’ would systematically hand themselves into asylums because a whole day would go by without them receiving attention.
The office ‘time-wasters’ would actually have to get on with their jobs or find a different place to hide during work hours.
Map Directions 🌍
No Google maps? We’d all have to stop off at petrol stations and decide which pretty coloured line to follow;
"do they even still print Road Atlas books ?!"
‘Surely, I must follow the thick green line?’ People would tell themselves, ‘That’s how Google Maps works, and it’s always got me to the correct destination, right?’.
Cars would crash because drivers have wedged A3-sized Road Atlas maps into the phone-holder on their windscreen.
Some of us might try to be clever by using Apple maps instead... but who knows where we'd end up using this?!
Social Media 👍
Google+ would crash…
…and nobody would notice. 😉
Many of us would rush to our desired social networks, reacting in the following ways:
- ‘Recommendations… Which search engine now ?!’
- ‘This is all because of BREXIT ! ‘
- ‘My Old iPhone for sale, works fine but won’t load Google - £75.00.’
- ‘#googledown #killmenow #bingiscrap’
- ‘This is the End! #endoftheworld’
- 'Here’s a selfie of me with Google, can’t believe he’s gone. RIP’
- ‘New Poll, Bing – Yes or No.’
- ‘Don’t use Chinese search engines, you might find the product I’m trying to sell at a much lower price’
- ‘How do you think businesses will cope without Google?’
- ‘I’m a recruitment consultant looking for search engine software engines for my prestigious client, Bing.’
- ‘How to fill the void in business with Bing Ads…’
Creatives & Content Marketers
The time away from Google causes the laziest content marketers to run out of ideas, after all, if they can’t search for a topic, how are they supposed to rip off somebody else’s ideas?
All the other content creators start creating posts about life without Google. We can’t browse the web without seeing blogs entitled:
- Top 10 Reasons the Google Crash is Good
- 5 Ways to Hack Yourself to Success During the Google Collapse
- I Survived the Google Crash, Here’s My Story
- 35 Companies that are Thriving in the Google Shut-Down
- Digital Marketing Gurus Share Their Best Post Google Bing Hacks
The point of this blog was for entertainment purposes only and not to poke fun at anyone. But it does serve to demonstrate how much power one tech company has over our lives.
Google's products are amazing, and (most of them) FREE, which has caused many of us to completely rely on their services.
Lets just pray that this never actually happens, because who knows what would really happen!!!